Wednesday, July 6, 2011

You know what, how about I just post quotes I really like. From movies and TV shows, that is where I got the name of the blog. Then I can write and explain why I like the quote. Below is the best quote ever:

Friday, June 3, 2011

Sorry I took.....2 years off....

But I think I am going to come back and start my blog up again. So if anyone is still out there, stay tuned.

Monday, October 26, 2009

Even My Dad Thinks That’s a Bad Argument

You are participating in a discussion, a verbal joust if you will (and you will), a mini argument. Nothing to intense, a slight difference of opinion, or just a fun fight for the sake of fighting. No one is throwing out Yo Momma bust (she literally sits AROUND the house…hahahah), or taking shots at someone’s irrational fear of trees obstructing windows (this is a hereditary fear, ask Dr. D). Then, just when you think this is a civil conversation, someone goes and ….EVENs you. Not EVEN WITH but EVEN’D AT.

“You were being a di*k, even (ole so and so) said so” - Ladyface

See what just happened there, do you see it, you done got played. If this were Super Mario Bros. your opposition just got a mushroom. How do you come back from that? I mean first you have to make the decision in your head if you actually believe that ole so and so did back up this argument. Now you’re doubting yourself, well if two people thought it to be then it must be true (always get a second opinion). Everything is falling down around you, my argument holds no water anymore, I'm so embarrassed I just want to throw myself out a window (and I wont be saved by a tree).

“Well let me talk to (ole so and so)”

BOOM (PING)!!!! Your move jerkass!! This is a frightening thought. I mean even if ole so and so did call me a di*k, I highly doubt they did so thinking that the information would be relayed to me. Now your opponent is back tracking:

“It doesn’t matter, I'm just saying, you were being a di*k”
Or
“You see, you don’t even care that I think you were being a di*k, I’m just saying I'm not the only one who notice”

(By the way, I kind of was being a di*k, but that’s neither here nor there)

What I'm trying to say here is, I don’t like getting EVEN’d. You automatically want to go on the offensive when someone adds in another character to the argument whose not even there (yeah, well David Bowie from Labyrinth thinks you are being a bi*ch). The advice I give is to keep your cool if you get EVEN’d (I’m not crying I just have something in my eye(s)). Quickly dispel this other character:

“(Ole so and so) is a drunk”
Or
“(Ole so and so) is a Goblin King from an 80’s movie”

Then go right back into the argument.

Now into some recent film screenings I have participated in. I will go in the order I saw them.

Paranormal Activity: If I were going to pick a setting for 98% of movies I see, I would pick a quiet theater that is not too crowded. In the case of PA I was very happy that Koey and I picked to see it at United Artist Imma Talk Through Dis Bitch. I know that some people hated this film, but I really liked it. I'm not sure if it was that every time something strange started to happen I’d here “You’s gotsta get outta dere”, or that a man behind us suggested that the evil entity was “dats Lebron James”, but it was the perfect balance of hilarity and scary. In the main scary scenes it was quiet and I think the build up in your head is scarier then the actual movie. But, like I said before, sometimes it’s the experience that makes the movie better then it is.

Marley and Me: Not gonna talk about it. Not gonna watch it again.

Drag Me To Hell: I’m biased on this one. Evil Dead, Evil Dead 2 and Army of Darkness, all the movies in Sam Raimi’s Evil Dead Trilogy are just the cats meow (saying?) to me and my family (kind of shows you how messed up we are). I can remember Phyllis renting Evil Dead 2 from Blockbuster for me and my friends when I was in grade school. We even went and saw Evil Dead The Musical in NYC, which culminates in the actors pouring blood on the first 3 rows which are handed slickers in the beginning of the second act. So outrageous blood and gore mixed with a healthy dose of humor is right up my alley. This movie did not disappoint, as female roommate was curled up in the corner of the couch screaming and freaking out, I was laughing my shapely ass off.

Away We Go: I’m always worried with Sam Mendes. American Beauty, obviously great. Road to Perdition, one of the most underrated movies ever and in my top 10. Jarhead, ehhh. Revolutionary Road, I mean I liked it more for the performances then the actual movie. So a hipster romantic comedy, I was not sure how to feel. It was really good, a lot funnier then I thought it was going to be. John Krasinski and Maya Rudolph (the chick from SNL?) had great chemistry and did a very good job. Very good room-com

Saw V: As I said to girl roommate, I keep watching these movies because I'm impressed they keep putting them out same time every year. I never see them in the theater and I’m always a year behind (oh, SAW VI is out, I should see SAW V). I’m not very impressed with torture porn (actual genre) like SAW and Hostel, you get just as much gore in Drag Me To Hell but instead of feeling sad about it your laughing. So I’ll rank this as far as SAW movies go, and it was the worst one. I’m always excited for the climax of these movies, where the music comes in and they back track and show you how everything came together, SAW V was predictable and really had no climax. Skip this one.

New York, I Love You: This is an accompany piece to Paris, je t’aime, which I enjoyed. Both are movies that are made up of 7 to 10, 10-15 minute films that intertwine in the respected city. The stories in NY,ILY fell a little bit short in comparison to P,JT. Some of the stories were very good, and some kind of blew. I would recommend renting this baby, and renting Paris, je t’aime first.

Sorry this was so long (that’s what HE said), but I have not written in a while.

Also, Shout out to Ma Dukes who got in an accident during her and my fathers trip to Maui and ended up wheel chair bound for a couple weeks. I told Koey she was a "Wheelie" now and he assumed I meant the scary guys from Return to Oz.

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Were gonna need a bigger…….screen

What a week I have encountered, what a week. Down at my Sea Isle house until this past Tuesday. Had an amazing time at the Monday Jam w/ Secret Service (the greatest 2 man party band of all time, more to come on them at a later date), with amazing friends and Service-aholics. Tuesday was a long day of cleaning, getting Ma Dukes and Dr. D (my parents who were also in Sea Isle) to make me and my companion for the day, Ladyface, “Girl” cheese, driving, Fantasy Football drafting and then finally home. As luck would have it, I also had Wednesday off, because I got suckered into working Saturday, but still the extra day of rest was nice. Thursday I worked (throws up in pants) and then Friday I was at work for 20 minutes before the power went out, I screamed like a tween and they sent me home. What does all of this have to do with my blog, well…. this week set up to be the mother of all movie watching weeks. “Mother of all” is a strange term, right? Isn’t it? No, you’re just going to ignore me? Fuck you!

Tuesday morning I woke up as I often do: too early, unable to fall back asleep, angry about that inability and with a boner. The shore house is all but empty, and as a person who sleeps very little I can make myself scarce and quiet when I don’t want to wake others. After drinking 23 gallons of water I flipped on the tube, I knew it might be 2-3 hours before my two friends awoke, so I went to Comcast Free Movies On Demand. First screen…..nothing. Second screen, there it was, and I knew this was going to be a special movie watching week……Bad Boys. I really have nothing to say about this movie, it’s enjoyable, and I really like it, but something about it made me happy.

Wednesday morning, once again: early, anger, boner. I’m home now, in my own bed, I should be able to sleep longer, but I can’t. 9:00am I put in some laundry and turn on the TV. The Nanny Diaries? Barf! Its like I couldn’t afford to watch The Devil Wears Prada (guilty pleasure), so I watched this lame knock off. What will save this blah beginning to the day? And on the 8th day God created NETFLIX! State of Play and Duplicity back to back. I know this seems like a lot of movie watching…..and it is…..and that’s what I do, so put the gavel down Judge Reinhold. State of Play was interesting, I enjoy anything that involves journalism, not sure why they made Russell Crowe look like a vagabond though. Something else about me, I like me some BBC America, so I had already watched the British mini series of State of Play and it’s much better (as most British turns are). Duplicity was a lot of fun to watch, not amazing, but really well written. The dialogue was great, as to be expected from the man who wrote the masterpiece that is Michael Clayton. So I'm 2/3 for the day, 3/4 for the week.

Thursday I work (still throwing up in pants), come home, watch some TV and then tell roomie we should watch Danny Boyle’s Sunshine (at this point I'm like a movie crack addict, I just need one more taste, come on man). I have viewed this movie, 3-4 times, but it never ever ceases to amaze. Short plot summary, group of astronauts are headed to the sun to reignite it so that it doesn’t die and doom earth to freezing over and life ending forever. Sure, the acting is good, the writing is ok and the special effects are out of this world (haazaaa), but what is really amazing is, I’m not sure it ever got a theater release. This movie would be amazing on the big screen, but I don’t think it ever made it there. Poor Danny Boyle, make a great film about saving mankind and no one sees it, make a movie about kids swimming in poop, Oscar.

Friday I shit my pants at work when the power went out and had to go home and change them and just never went back (not actual scenario). What was I going to do with another day off this week? I had told Ladyface that they were playing Star Trek on the OMNIMAX at the giant heart place (The Franklin Institute). Ladyface agreed to come even though she had already seen it (that’s what makes a true friend a friend, that and willingness to give up a kidney or help you bury a body. Ill never tell Koey, ill never tell). Not sure if you have ever seen a movie in IMAX before, but it’s pretty overwhelming. Last summer I saw The Dark Knight at an IMAX and it took me 10 minutes to adjust so my stomach stopped flipping. Then I was disappointed when I saw Watchmen and Eagle Eye in IMAX Digital.

Side note – IMAX and IMAX Digital are two different things. If you go see something in IMAX then the screen will be huge and the resolution amazing. If you go see something in IMAX Digital, it’s not much different then seeing a regular movie. Don’t get ripped off.

That being said, OMNIMAX…well holy shit. It’s as big and as clear as IMAX, but the screen is actually set over your head and curves around to the left and right of you. This takes a lot of getting used to. Ladyface and I knew we just entered something awesome, or something horrible, right when we walked in. Uncomfortable seats and dizzying screen be damned, we were going to enjoy this.

Boom, it starts, it starts big and loud and fast (that’s what she said?). It does not help that JJ Abrams, the director, skipped steady cam class in film school (see MI:3, vomit). So I’m really trying to focus on the movie, one where you actually have to turn your head left and right to fully view, whilst trying not to throw up. It finally settles down and your mind and eyes get use to the chaos. Whew…..amazing. I was very upset when I thought I would not get to see Star Trek in the theaters, well now I’m happy I waited. OMNIMAX was amazing and Star Trek was amazing. If you have not had the pleasure, run, don’t walk to the Franklin Institute.

Ok almost done. I had work on Saturday so my Friday night was going to be spent at home. After seeing Ladyface off I started to check what was On Demand. First up, just like Bad Boys, Death Race. No real review of this movie, it’s crappy but fun and I like watching it. Second movie (dude, I watch a lot of fucking movies) was a re-watch of The Mist. I really liked this the first time I saw it (if you watch it, watch it in black and white, which is one of the features on the DVD), and I wanted to make sure I wasn’t incorrect in my opinion. Well I wasn’t, at all. Mini Spoiler Alert!!!! This movie scares me and the ending has now, twice, bothered me enough to stop me from sleeping. Some people might dislike the “monsters” in the movie, but I found them to be the least scary parts. It’s the panic, the mob mentality, the despair that makes me really like this film. If you have not watched it, it’s on Showtime On Demand.

So in order, see:

Star Trek
Sunshine
The Mist
Duplicity
State of Play
Bad Boys
Death Race

kill yourself

The Nanny Diaries.


Now you know what I mean when I say I'm a movie fan.

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Did somebody say Nazi scalping? Let me get my pants on

Ok so here we go, new format. Instead of me trying hard to think of situations that happen to me during the day and make them interesting (how do I make spilling milk on me seem like a life changing event?), I'm going to write about what I know. Controlled Thermal Nuclear Fusion and how to harness the energy of the stars. Wait….what did I just say, I blacked out…oh god I think I threw up. I know movies, books and TV. So let’s do this, follow me.

::were walking were walking::

So last week everything was just coming up Drew (I'm so cool I talk about myself in the first person). Not when it comes to important things, work sucked, I didn’t meet a nice women and I think my nephew is anti-Semitic, but when it comes to hobbies….boom, nailed it. Three amazing things were thrust into my life last week, one movie, one book and one album. I can not rank them in any order, they were all amazing. Let me put it this way, all of them were 7 gabillion times better then Rachel Getting Married, if that helps (And there is my Rachel Getting Married review, if I want to spend 2 hours watching a messed up family and alcohol issues ill go home on a Tuesday).

We will start with the album, Imogen Heap’s Ellipse. Wow wow wee wa wow (said like Borat). You should first know that I like all types of music, all types. I go from listening to Method Man/ Redman in my car to Dixie Chicks at work to Coheed and Cambria (my fav band) when I get home. It’s always more about the music and lyrics then the genre to me. Singers like Imogen Heap and PJ Harvey always seem to find there way onto my IPod, basically because I go see modern dance pieces my sister is in and that’s the type of music they dance to. So I wanted this album and lucky for me my brother in law got a burnt copy at work and gave it to me. Well I might have listened to the album for more hours then I have slept in the last week (not hard for an insomniac to pull off). It’s just sick, her voice is calming and interesting, the beats are hypnotic and the lyrics are hilarious and brilliant. What else can you ask for, this album would only be better if every time I put it on she came and rubbed my back while I was listening (really a back rub should be sold with more things, Big League Chew would still be huge if someone rubbed my back for every pack I bought). If you have never heard her, download Little Bird and listen/weep. If you have, this is her best work so far (No really, I mean if Mrs. Dash was sold with a back rub, that shit would be on all my food….and my clothes). Ok too much, let’s move on

::were walking were walking::

Sometimes movies are great because the movie is just great, sometimes its great because of the state of mind you are in. This goes the same with movies that suck, sometimes they just suck (Rachel Getting Married) and sometimes the first time you see it you're just not in the mood to laugh (The Passion of the Christ). I find that going to see a movie whilst hung-over always gets me in a great mood, especially when it has gratuitous violence. This is the situation I found myself in on Sunday then I went and saw Inglorious Basterds. Now if you don’t like Tarantino, then this movie is not going to do it for you. This movie combines all the sweet little nuances that have made QT’s movies so unique. The music of Kill Bill, the violence of Pulp Fiction, the Mexican standoff tension of Reservoir Dogs and the campiness (word?) of Death Proof. If the theater wasn’t so crowded I might have actually touched myself watching it because of its awesomeness. Now some of you Nazi sympathizers (I'm looking at you godson) might not like the scalping of your comrades (I think I'm mixing extreme political views), but I say to you….really, you’re a Nazi sympathizer, get over it, it was like 20 years ago (timelines, my Achilles heel). This movie gets two enthusiastic thumbs up from yours truly.

Side note, I went to see the movie with my bud Koey and we have the ability to return to our 14 year old self’s when we hang out. This is only exacerbated by the fact that you’re supposed to be quite in a theater. So if you were in that theater and wondering why we were giggling like little girls, I’ll tell you. Koey told me the end of a movie, and then proceeded to say SPOILER ALERT when he was done. I told him he did it backwards, he is supposed to say spoiler alert first and let me decide if I want to hear it. Something about that short conversation struck us both 14 yr old funny, cause damn if we didn’t giggle through all the previews. One of those previews was for (that’s what the people in the biz call a segue)…..

…..Shutter Island!!!! Whew, just writing it gives me strange thoughts. Being a chronic insomniac, there are certain things you should not do: don’t eat late, don’t have a TV in your room, and above everything, do not read books that have to do with people having issues while sleeping (are these the same rules for mogui? Gremlins references, where else do you get them?). My sister and brother in law both read the book and knowing my sleeping issues warned me, and what did I do, I punched them both in the mouth (you don’t know ME). The bulk of my reading is done at my desk on my short lunch break at work. Commenced reading this book on Tuesday and I had a rough time putting it down. I find that some writers have a knack for constructing pictures with their words that you can easily put into movie form. You can see the movie playing out in your head as you read the book (much easier when you have already viewed a preview and you know which actors are playing the characters in the book…..pops his Leo DiCaprio boner).. Now my sister told me there was a surprise in the book (because she just has to say stuff like that, no matter what you say. Drew did you see Star Trek? No, well there is this par…..its not going to give anything away…..let me just tell you about this one par…….your not going to pour that wine into a glass?).

So The Drew meanders in from a long day of work last Friday and I sit on the couch and my body says, “Perfect”. If you know me at all, staying in on a Friday is a rarity. I’m a social body, I need people and usually on a Friday, copious amounts of booze. For some reason I reached over and picked up Shutter Island……200 pgs later its midnight, I have ignored 15 text and 5 calls, I think people thought I was dead (and yet no one seemed concerned). Man did I feel like I was manipulated by this book, maybe even molested (it’s not the books fault, I was asking for it with my short shorts and belly shirt). It really just kind of sets you up, lulls you into a feeling of uncomfortable comfort and then boom, that hand that was innocently on your knee is not squeezing your junk ( pronounce yunk for you Spanish readers). Usually I pride myself on seeing things coming, in books, in movies, in dodge ball, but this book caught me by surprise and I could not have been happier about it. Needless to say I slept very little that night, just thinking about what I read while icing my down low. If you want a quick read that might find its way into one of the Top 10 books you ever read, Shutter Island is your book (there’s a blurb for your fucking jacket cover Dennis).

Ok that was a lot, probably to much to write for only 3 readers, but that’s as short as I could make it. I’m going to listen to Imogen Heap now and look up support groups for people molested by books.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

New Direction

So I know the 3 people who read this blog have asked when I will actually blog anything. It was suggested to me that I really should stick with what I know and I will have a lot more source material. So I've decided to go in the direction of this being a movie blog. First blog on the newly directed site coming tomorrow. Get excited.

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

To make a long story short….is a phrase that takes a long time to explain


So I was at the shore this weekend and when I woke up it was 8:13..or maybe it was 8:14, no I'm pretty sure it was 8:13. Then when I went downstairs I really wanted eggs but we didn’t have any eggs but we did have egg beaters……………

::Brain begins to replay dance scene from 13 Going on 30::

... and that’s when I ran into Karen, you know Karen? Brian’s girlfriend, you know Karen and Brian, from the swim club when I was a kid; you know I told you about the swim club...

::If I had a recording of this conversation I could stab them in the throat and no jury would find me guilty::

...and that’s how I figured out I needed more wiper fluid, so do you have any wiper fluid?

::E, D, C, B, A…I knew I could do it backwards::
***

If the above is an example of a conversation you have initiated, then F you and your over-descriptiveness. I hope you marry a deaf (if “a deaf” isn’t PC it certainly should be).

On the other hand, if you have ever gotten stuck in a conversation like the above, then I know your pain all to well (this is what it sounds like when doves cry). Someone begins a conversation that holds a little bit of interest:
***

…speaking of a Polar Bear and a Tiger fighting…

::Damn, that’s what we in the storytelling bizness call “The Hook”. Fuck yeah I want to hear about a PB vs. Tiger fight, there might be nothing I want to hear more about in my life (if the polar bear doesn’t win I’ll eat my shoe)::

…You know the Discovery Channel has this new line up…

::I bet this is going to be bloody::

...and we missed it the first night it was on because we forgot to DVR it…

:: I wonder if it was narrated by Dudley Moore like Milo and Otis ::

...I should actually preface this story with how I wore the wrong color dress at my confirmation…off-white.

::WTF::
***

Really, really? You need to preface this animal tale? Wait wait wait, I know what just happened, this person had no intention of telling you about the roaring cuddly awesomeness of T vs. PB 2003 (say that out loud, I should be a fight promoter….in 2003). They just hooked you into a story that they have wanted to tell for 17 years and they never had an opening. There is no real connection in the two stories, but you seem to be listening and they find the pre-story interesting, so why not give it the old college try.

Speaking of the old college try, I never really got that phrase; I mean are they talking about old colleges or....... (see how it just happens and now you’re listening to something you never wanted to hear about)

So now you have hit the critical point, and you are faced with a few options:
1. Stay and listen, whilst zoning out. Let those big beautiful blue eyes gloss over (this refers to my baby blues) and just think about something else. Small smile, nod, giggle when they giggle, frown when they frown. It might take 20-30 painful minutes, but there is no confrontation.

2. This one takes timing, you need to wait for a break in the story and say something like “Hold that thought” and then you go build a spaceship or something, long enough that the asshole has forgot. You can also reference something on TV if the TV is in the room, or if someone new comes into the room pretend you have something crazy important to talk to them about (I got the results back).

3. You could also use the brash "are you fucking kidding me" tactic. This one works best for really good friends. It's just a total call out on them tricking you into listening to some lame story and not and awesome animal face-off.

4. This is what I do. Make fist with right hand, point index finger to the left, spin hand in a circular motion. This gives an appearance of you saying “Get on with it” but it’s less rude then saying it. You have to smile or laugh when you do as to not seem d-baggy, and you will get the response “I know I know its almost over”, you might have just cut the story in half