I was thinking of starting with a clever prose about what can be expected of this blog, but because I'm what some would call recklessly impulsive (others would call me wildly inappropriate and still others would call me that guy from work who cries at his computer a lot) I'm just going to jump right in.
ABC Family. That’s right, ABC Family. Since moving into my new abode with my non-male roommate, I have had the pleasure (pleasure = utter confusion) of watching two different ABC Family dramas on the regular. Now don’t get me wrong, I am in no way a guy who finds fault in shows, books, movies, and babies just because they are catered to the female persuasion. I watch Love Actually and then tell everyone I watched Road House just like every other man who wants a good cry and likes ice cream. If these shows were just teen angst and love stories I would pull out my old Dawson’s Creek blanket and dive right in (I certainly didn’t want to wait for my life to be over) . This is not the issue. I can get past the horrible acting and the dialogue apparently written by two 5 year olds with learning disabilities. It’s not even that in these high schools no one drinks, no one does drugs and everyone is good looking and has sex. This could only be further from the truth in high school if it was also under water and the teachers were the students (twist). What really gets my goat (real expression?) is that after all this underage sex; they willingly go and talk to their parents about it? Does this happen? Is this true?
Example:
Alice: I had sex with Brian
Mom: Well I think you are too young, but did you enjoy it?
Alice’s Mentally Challenged Brother: I bought a Hooker (actual scenario)
What? I think one time my dad caught me in bed with a girl in high school and I just sat there and denied she was there. At one point he actually touched her just to prove it and I vehemently denied it. Later I asked him if he could drive her home and then denied that happened too. There is nothing believable about talking sex with you mom or dad….unless they own a sex shop, then its just business. It’s uncomfortable even now at 27. I rarely have sex directly in front of my parents because it makes everyone so uncomfortable, especially the girl I generously paid to be there (not actual scenario).
I think what I'm trying to say here is, ABC Family is setting a bad example. I do not want my kids (of which I have -1) telling me they had sex. I want them to drink and do drugs and put condoms on incorrectly (it’s like the directions are in Danish) just like I did (do). Then pretend they are sweet and innocent until they go to college and I don’t give a shit about them anymore. Just like my parents did and their parents, I don’t think my parents parents had parents cause I never met them.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
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